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28 June 2010 @ 09:46 pm
Chris and I lost a very dear friend yesterday morning.

He worked at The Hanger [a bar] as a bouncer on the weekends. He was not supposed to drink on the job. But knowing Kujo, those rules didn't apply to him. Before he left, he drank a bunch of vodka. Someone had taken away his keys, but Kujo had somehow gotten them back. Not 5 seconds after he left the parking lot...

He was in a head on collision Sunday morning around 5am. He had a passenger with him, but the passenger survived. The driver of the other vehicle died as well.

There's going to be a benefit concert in his honor sometime this week. All the proceeds are going towards the funeral costs. Not sure when the funeral is, yet. And I hope to God that it's not open casket.

The very first time Kujo met Sydney, he named himself her Godfather. And he was. He looked out for her. Protected her. Loved her unconditionally. Hell, he was supposed to be there for her first date, cleaning his gun, giving her date the "evil eye". Sydney is too young to remember him. But Chris and I made a promise to make sure that she will know him and know all the good times with him. I'm so glad that he got to meet her. We're taking her to the funeral. It's what he would have wanted.

Everytime Kujo introduced me to someone, he'd always introduce me as his sister. He would hurt anyone that even tried to lay a finger on me. He was my big brother. He gave the best hugs. And dammit...I can still hear that dopey ass laugh.

I called his phone today just to hear his voice. Whenever the phone started ringing, I almost expected to hear him pick up and say, "Hey sis, what's going on?" I didn't think that just hearing the voicemail could tear my world apart.

He never made the best decisions in his life. He had just gotten out of a 9-month rehab stint. He was clean. And he was on the road to making his life better. Dammit, Kujo, it's not supposed to be like this. Who am I going to have protect me? Who's going to call me at midnight, 1am, 2am drunk as hell just wanting to tell me how much you love me and that you love Chris more than a fat kid loves cake? Who's going to hug me really tight whenever I don't even know I need a hug? I want to be angry at you. But I just can't. I promised myself that I wouldn't cry today. But I'm glad that I broke that promise over you. Fuck...I'm going to miss you so much.

Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Lowhomperjawed on June 29th, 2010 11:56 am (UTC)
♥ *smuggle*